Reunion of torture

Why do I keep going back? Ever time I look in those eyes the crack in my heart gets wider. It's like you're rubbing your happiness in my face. "See what I can have without you", you smiling face mocks me. The other part of me thinks your being so public because you are waiting for me to comeback, waiting for us to reunite, you want me to keep up so that I don't miss a minute. Deep down, I know that you probably have no idea how public your life has become.

The reunion that may never happen plays over and over again in my mind. Sometimes we forget everything that came between us, and just fall back into the good times. Other times we fight, cry, yell and shout. We let everything go, and put everything on the table. And then there are times when we pass eachother like we didn't see the other. This is how I think it will be.

We got too close, you hurt me too deep. I will always wonder why I wasn't worth it. Why you couldn't muster up the energy to care just a little more. I gave you so many chances, but you just didn't try. Maybe I should have shown you how much I cared, how hard I tried.

At the end of the day, it was me who ended it. I'm the one who walked away. I hoped that you would call me back, run after me. But you didn't. You just got angry and walked away. I doubt you even looked back.

Funny thing is I shed the tears of this moment a year before, knowing that it would come, hoping it wouldn't.

I hate your cat

I feel sleep heavy on my eyelids,
I slowly let myself succumb to the darkness.
Just as my brain is shutting down there is a noise,
A sad cry jerks me from my slumber.
I know you miss her,
So do I.
I reach out to stroke your soft fur,
But you pull away from me.

You run back and forth,
Nails skittering across the hardwood floors.
Your moans fill my room,
I reach out and again,
You pull away from me.

You crawl across my legs.
You cry some more,
I know this is your way of asking,
Where she is.
I reach out to comfort you,
But you pull away from me.

Together we watch the hours pass by,
I drift in and out of a restless slumber,
Your whiskers in my face as you cry for her.
You sound so sad, so lonely, so forgotten,
I know it isn’t my comfort you seek,
But I still try and when I reach out,
You pull away from me.

As the sun begins to rise,
My patience begins to wane.
Where I once felt guilt and sympathy,
I now feel anger and frustration.
You come and nestle up to me,
You search for my hand,
Looking for comfort,
But I pull away from you.