The Me

Unfortunately the person I am, is the person I think people want me to be. I've been doing this for so long I'm not sure who I am or what I am supposed to be. I grew up being a chameleon. Changing my skin to fit into any situation.

People keep saying "Be yourself", "Don't worry about what other people say". But what if not being myself is really being myself. What if that is who I am, the person who adapts to the situation like she's pulling on a coat in the winter. Is there something wrong with this?

Don't we all sort of act like this? Don't you have a work person, a home person, a parent person, a friend person, and a spouse person? I've noticed that people change their voice depending on who they are talking to on the phone. It happens a lot, and isn't this changing who you are?

There are things I don't like about the person I am. I wish I didn't need approval from others as much as I do, and I'm working on it. It's hard for me to open up to people about who I am and how I feel. I hide things that I am and reasons why I have become this person. When I do share them, it is most often with someone I have little chance of having a lasting connection with, and immediately afterwards I am full of regret and remorse.

So if you think that I am not being myself, remember that maybe this is who I really am. I think the best way to say it is that I am how I feel.