Why do I keep going back? Ever time I look in those eyes the crack in my heart gets wider. It's like you're rubbing your happiness in my face. "See what I can have without you", you smiling face mocks me. The other part of me thinks your being so public because you are waiting for me to comeback, waiting for us to reunite, you want me to keep up so that I don't miss a minute. Deep down, I know that you probably have no idea how public your life has become.
The reunion that may never happen plays over and over again in my mind. Sometimes we forget everything that came between us, and just fall back into the good times. Other times we fight, cry, yell and shout. We let everything go, and put everything on the table. And then there are times when we pass eachother like we didn't see the other. This is how I think it will be.
We got too close, you hurt me too deep. I will always wonder why I wasn't worth it. Why you couldn't muster up the energy to care just a little more. I gave you so many chances, but you just didn't try. Maybe I should have shown you how much I cared, how hard I tried.
At the end of the day, it was me who ended it. I'm the one who walked away. I hoped that you would call me back, run after me. But you didn't. You just got angry and walked away. I doubt you even looked back.
Funny thing is I shed the tears of this moment a year before, knowing that it would come, hoping it wouldn't.
Monday, July 20, 2009
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